I solve problems. I’ll sit for hours, or search for several moments to bring a mystery to completion.

Today, I took a novice dive into numerology. I already knew my life path number from my studies from when I was a girl but that’s as far as I’ve gotten. Much like expanding to incorporating the moon and rising sign into one’s general sun sign readings, I learned to research my destiny and karmic debt numbers. Apparently, mother and lover have no karmic debts to pay.  It’s possible why I keep them close. No matter any flaws, their past life hands are clean. And I’ve learned that in my past life I had too much freedom, and now I need to rein it in and come home more; yet my destiny number denotes leadership, stability and stoicism while my life path number echos the free-spirit ethos my karmic debt was warning me of. 

I guess I was born with some tools to help me make a change. I am a disciplined stern leader, able to complete anything I begin, yet I hate routine. As long as I’m working on the same project in unique places, I’m good. For instance, I’m spending a month in DC while my life in Baltimore is perfectly fine. But one must think deeper, of method and logic — being strong, or influential it’s not smart to reveal a predictable pattern. I expose myself to anyone who may want to harm my body, soul, success or productivity. I am not a massively public CEO, of course,  but predictability is a trait to be taken into account when it comes to safety, accessibility, well-being and creativity. 

An artist should not do the same thing every day for years. Doesn’t matter if you have kids, or responsibilities. You can take the train to the next town for the afternoon once they’re in school to mix things up; walk around, think, get lost or find a coffee shop or library immediately and get straight to work with an entire change of scenery. There are no excuses for the creative mind. My mother and lover love adventure, sports, travel, concerts and so on. So, in that regard my brief sabbatical doesn’t seem so irresponsible. My artistry and entrepreneurialism is just a product of my nature, nonetheless, I want to be careful about making excuses.

It is important that I hold myself accountable and consider the mystic advisement so that I do not return to this world with a more severe karmic debt of stubbornness or rigidity.

I think the most important thing about working with karma and past lives is humility. You have to admit that you messed up and went a bit overboard last life and now it is your task to balance the extremes of Earthly movement and choices. For instance, I’ve worked at the same newspaper for 10 years, yet I’ve spent a massive amount of money on two chai tea lattes and splurged pastries and decadent green salad and sandwiches for lunch. I also walked 12 miles back and forth (twice) across town to go to the pharmacy because I spent too much in my daily routine.

Today, I forced myself to stay home. I hope maturity is the remedy for imbalance and karmic debt because I feel mindfulness and self-correction is key, and I don’t know, maybe it’s happened with age or I’ve lived by Kenny Rogers song, ‘You gotta know when to hold ‘em and when to fold ‘em.’ Being a Libra keeps a natural pendulum swinging within the deepest confines of my motivations as well. 

All in all, I find that staying in was fruitful regarding self-education and accountability. 

My karmic debt must be paid, therefore, I will walk with conviction and improve over time.